Congregation roulette Part II: What’s that evangelical church got?
In previous posts, we explored hidden blessings of leadership roulette, and pondered how to improve our chances of winning congregation roulette, by examining lessons from an LGBTQ-affirming ward. Today we’ll add a perspective from an evangelical church that a former LDS member joined. Tom Christofferson explained:
A young friend of mine came out a few years ago to his parents while in his mid-teens, and subsequently to his family and peers in school and church. He is academically accomplished and musically talented, with a quietly engaging personality. In his early exposure to other LGBTQ people, he was dismayed at how easily and quickly some seemed to have discarded their faith, as if in order to be “truly” gay, one must almost replace the person he or she had been up to that point with an entirely new being. My friend rejected this notion as simplistic and made clear his determination to integrate all of the important elements of his life, including his orientation and his faith. Members of his ward were accepting and loving when he came out to them, to a degree that was a happy surprise to my friend and his family.
However, my friend had heard many messages before he came out that created a deep impression within him that he would be loved but not fully accepted. And over time he came to feel that the messages he heard at church about LGBTQ people in general did not feel compassionate and often did not distinguish between identity and behavior, leaving him with a sense that there really was not a place for him there.
Unwilling to yield the central place Christ held in his spiritual life, he began to attend a local evangelical congregation. I asked him what the beliefs of that church are about sexual activity between people of the same gender, and he told me that this denomination has the same basic doctrine as the LDS Church in that regard. When I asked . . . why he found the new congregation to be a more comfortable place, he told me that while they believe sex between two men or two women is wrong, they hold a view that we all sin. My friend said that members of that church and its local leaders have made it plain to him that they want him to worship with them, and they trust that my friend is doing the best he can at this point.
Without ceding doctrine, could we not reflect greater charity to every individual, couple and family? Knowing that the “Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance” (D&C 1:31), can we still recognize that all lives are works in process, that, as President Thomas S. Monson has observed, “Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing [his or her] best to deal with the challenges which come [their] way, and may we strive to do our best to help out”? (Tom Christofferson, That We May Be One, 114-115, emphasis in the original).
Many of us hope and pray for doctrinal change that will affirm the beauty and sanctity of gay marriage. But even while we wait, we COULD do so much better to be the welcoming, inclusive body of Christ that He wants us to be. We CAN do so much better. I hope we WILL.
-Marci and Evan