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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Crossroads shares the personal story of a bishop learning through his calling why he should try to be an LGBTQ ally and how that helped his teenage son finally feel comfortable opening up to him about being gay. Written by a lawyer, this navigable e-book uses numerous resources to examine church teachings about gay sexual orientation and explores a scripture-based path to a more hopeful doctrine.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
+ Preface: Where am I coming from?
- What’s my background? From what perspective am I writing?
- How do I feel about the church? How do I feel about my son’s decision to leave it?
- What do I hope to achieve in writing this book?
- Is it bad to recognize there is human error in the church?
+ 1: Introduction- Our Story
- How do I feel about having a gay son? How does my wife feel? How does my son feel?
- What is my despair? What is my hope?
- Am I trying to attack the church or “steady the ark”?
- Why can’t I just put my concerns on a shelf and go on with my life?
+ 2: How can we listen? What words help and hurt?
- Am I a qualified voice for my son, other LGBTQ people, or other parents?
- Shouldn’t LGBTQ voices dictate what is best for their own well-being in the church?
- What words are hurtful vs. helpful to LGBTQs and their families?
+ 3: Can a changing church provide hope?
- How do historical church teachings influence my views?
- Does the church say that experiencing gay sexual desire is a choice?
- What does science say about gay sexual orientation? How common is it in nature?
- Is mixed-orientation marriage encouraged by the church?
- How did the church respond to the legalization of marriage equality?
- How exactly does the church want us to love LGBTQ people?
- How did my experiences as a bishop prepare me for my son coming out to me?
- Shifting church policies: How can darkness descend, and hope be rekindled, both so quickly?
- How do I feel about Elder Holland's 2021 talk at BYU?
+ 4: Does new doubling down on the doctrine crush hope?
- Have recent prophetic statements further entrenched anti-LGBTQ doctrine?
- Is it fair for us to expect LGBTQ church members to just trust in the Lord to work things out?
- What can our feelings tell us about doctrine?
- Can we keep Christ’s two great commandments and still hope for doctrinal marriage equality?
- Why are church teachings inconsistent about gender and post-mortal sexual orientation?
- Can gay sexual orientation in nature provide hope for heaven?
+ 5: Is doctrinal change still possible?
- Is it possible for me to stop hoping for doctrinal change?
- Do the scriptures prohibit doctrinal marriage equality?
- Does the Proclamation on the Family prohibit marriage equality?
- What does the situation with race and the priesthood/temple ban teach us?
- Would allowing marriage equality in our doctrine mean God has changed?
- Would it speed up change if we truly accepted our own belief that prophets aren’t perfect?
+ 6: Is marriage too fundamental to redefine?
- Would allowing marriage equality be a less drastic change than permitting polygamy was?
- Will numerous prophetic statements against marriage equality prevent change?
- Do we know for sure that spiritual procreation requires a man and a woman?
- Could temple ceremonies be changed to allow for gay temple marriage?
- What about gay marriage for “time only,” in or out of the temple?
- Do we need to worry about doing a sealing here that shouldn’t continue in heaven?
- If doctrinal change is possible, why hasn’t it happened?
- What about countries in which same-sex behavior is still against the law?
+ 7: Could existing beliefs help justify change?
- Is it appropriate to compare being gay to anything other than being straight?
- Is alcoholism or any other addiction appropriately analogous?
- Is physical or mental disability appropriately analogous?
- Is the ability to speak a language appropriately analogous?
- Is pedophilia appropriately analogous?
- Do current doctrinal gaps provide an example for a possible solution?
- Should we prioritize healthy relationships here and now over heavenly unknowns?
- Could gay marriage be seen as an exception to the commandment to marry straight?
- Can we learn something from the church’s approach to abortion?
- Can we sustain our leaders if we disagree with them and empathize with LGBTQs?
+ 8: What might prompt doctrinal change?
- Will science, normality of LGBTQ families, or guilt over psychological harm help?
- What about the church’s political stance on conversion therapy?
- Should the church do more to denounce conversion therapy?
- Are church teachings contributing to more suicides?
- Will outside forces again influence doctrinal change?
- Can a church member be in good standing if they support LGBTQ political causes?
- Should scripture and history teach the church to stay out of LGBTQ politics?
- How careful should LGBTQ political activists in the church be?
+ 9: Can a painful experience with a leader result in good?
- Why am I sharing details of my private conversation with a General Authority?
- What did the General Authority say to us?
- What did I say to the General Authority?
- What did Cheryl say to the General Authority?
- Why did the General Authority’s words hurt so much?
- Does any of this mean that what I taught before on LGBTQ matters is wrong?
- Can parents of gay kids be church leaders?
- How should I feel about my son leaving the church?
- Am I struggling because I was personally offended?
+ 10: Can we stay in church and avoid the "dark cloud?"
- Church should make us happy and Christ should give us hope, right?
- Are there different ways to endure to the end?
- Is it okay if no one else in my family comes back to church with me?
- Why am I committed to staying in the church?
+ Afterword
Transgender issues need more attention than they are getting in the church. However, such issues are not discussed much in the Crossroads book as the author doesn’t have much personal experience with transgender church members. Without excusing that failure, the sincere hope is that any change in the church that benefits lesbian, gay, bisexual or questioning/queer individuals will produce changes that help transgender church members as well.