Honoring parents - even if they’re LGBTQ-antagonistic?
What does it mean to honor one’s parents (#5 — dead center of the 10 Commandments) when one doesn’t feel respected in return? It’s sometimes pretty easy to honor parents who affirm one’s identity and values. If parents don’t, are we exempt from the commandment to honor them? Worse yet, how can children of any age honor parents who are abusive, especially if the parent instructs a little child not to tell?
Children often are taught that “honor your parents” means to obey, or do what they say. Does that mean we are commanded to go along with abuse? Does that mean we must bow to non-affirming parents?
No. Hard stop. God doesn’t want cowering disciples; certainly God doesn’t want abuse to continue. Honoring parents can have other meanings.
My personal favorite definition of honor is to bring honor to someone. We honor parents by being our very best authentic selves, thereby bringing honor to them. Here are some additional thoughts:
Sister Neill F. Marriott, former counselor in the Young Women General Presidency:
“Please don’t expect your family to be perfect — because it will not be. It doesn’t help anyone to dwell on faults and imperfections. Instead, focus on what your family does well. . . . As you strive to become a constant source of goodness, you’ll likely influence your family for the better” (“Parents in Training,” New Era, August 2016, 17).
Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve:
“To children whose family situation is troubled, we say, you yourself are no less for that. Challenges are at times an indication of the Lord’s trust in you. He can help you, directly and through others, to deal with what you face. You can become the generation, perhaps the first in your family, where the divine patterns that God has ordained for families truly take shape and bless all the generations after you.”
“Wherever you rank your own father [or mother] on the scale of good-better-best . . . , make up your mind to honor him and your mother by your own life (“Fathers,” April 2016 general conference).
When we teach the Ten Commandments, we can teach that honor is to bring honor to someone. We honor parents by being our very best authentic selves.
(Note: for a free download of a one-page outline for teaching children this concept, see my other blog, PrimaryinZion.wordpress.com: “Honoring parents - even if parents make poor choices?”)
And while we’re talking about the Ten Commandments, here’s a bonus for you: a picture of the Hillbilly Ten Commandments, spotted in a drive-through window in Oregon:
