Getting ready for the highs (and lows) of General Conference: Marci’s Journal from May 1992
I’m doing a deep dive into a lifetime’s worth of journals and papers, channeling my inner Mormon/Moroni to eventually abridge all these plates into my memoir. Just today I came across this journal entry from May 21, 1992. It’s welcome advice for my present self from my previous self. Perhaps it will be useful to you too.
TheChurchofJesusChrist.org
by Marci McPhee
My complicated marital status with stepkids and sealing and cancellation of sealing was tough to reconcile with the General Conference talks I had just heard the previous month. What about me? What about my kids? My stepkids? What did those messages mean for our family? Among the glorious messages of Conference, I had heard painful words that I took to heart.
That day in May, 28 years ago, my then-visiting teachers brought me a message: the very General Conference talk about eternal marriage that had troubled me most. That night I wrote in my journal the words of my wise visiting teacher: “There comes a time when you internalize the gospel, and neither the outward signs of religion nor what people say matters, even General Authorities. What matters is your personal relationship with a Heavenly Being who loves you. You know that there is a loving God who will make everything right, and you need to be true to your own understanding of Him and His will for you.” It gave me great comfort then, and it gives me great comfort today.
Yesterday’s angst about my marital status has given way to peace. Today’s angst comes from my Grammy Dragon status (read more about my gender-bending family members in my editor’s foreword to Evan’s book). Today I look forward to General Conference, knowing there will again be exhilarating messages and troubling ones too. When I hear the latter, I remember that everyone, church leaders included, speaks from their limited understanding. Two things can be true at the same time: they are good men and women, and sometimes they just don’t get it.
I hope you have an uplifting General Conference. I hope you can find a way to let any problematic messages just wash over you. Remember God’s love for you (just as you are), and the love of many, many others.
P.S. For those foodies reading this, here was the picnic lunch they brought that day, which also made it into my journal: “a loaf of crusty French bread; a cutting board with three kinds of cheese; a tiny dish for each of us with lettuce, a cherry tomato and a fresh lemon wedge for dressing; hollowed-out pineapple halves stuffed with melon balls, pineapple chunks, kiwi slices and strawberries; and yummy cookies. We sat under a tree on a perfect summer day, the warmest yet. I’m grateful for these beloved sisters for lifting my heart today.”