Emily Dickinson and Judy Dushku: Thoughts on “Crossroads”

Emily Dickinson (photo from openculture.com)

Judy Dushku

Guest author Judy Dushku is co-founder of the magazine Exponent II, former Boston Stake Relief Society President, founder of THRIVE Gulu in Uganda, former professor of government at Suffolk University, and mother of a gay son.

I love what you’re doing with the GayLDSCrossroads book and blog! I was reflecting, again, on the title — on the word “crossroads.” There are so many people approaching crossroads in the book, so the title fits. The people and the choices they faced are well described in the text.

As I kept thinking about those crossroads, making one kind of decision over another, I came across this poem:

"I had no time to hate because" by Emily Dickinson

I had no time to hate, because

The grave would hinder me,

And life was not so ample I

Could finish enmity.

Nor had I time to love, but since

Some industry must be,

The little toil of love, I thought,

Was large enough for me.

To me, this poem is about being at a crossroad, and choosing, in this case a serious choosing, to hate or not to hate. It could even be about choosing to disapprove/disparage or to approve/embrace. I like what Emily says, which is essentially that looking ahead she can’t imagine having enough time in life before the grave to spend it on enmity. It takes too much effort to choose hate.

While on the other hand—if she makes the other choice— with very little “toil” or “industry,” she will have plenty of time to love, to embrace. Love is easy, she says. Accepting, approving, embracing is the easier path. I believe like she does, that this is true for any of us.

Too many of our leaders and others torture themselves to find reasons to hate LGBTQ brothers and sisters. The arguments to justify rejecting and hating, arguments they have taken so much time and energy to weave, are absurd and exhausting. They go against our natural longing to take the path of loving and embracing. Why carry on this strung-out battle? Give it up. Take the easier and better way. Listen to Emily Dickinson!