Book Review: “My Dad’s a Muslim, My Mom’s a Lesbian, and I’m a Latter-day Saint,” by Mike Ramsey
source: MikeRamsey.org
By Marci McPhee
With a title like that, who needs publicity? My first thought was: how in the world did Mike Ramsey reconcile all that? How does one be a committed Latter-day Saint and find space for a Muslim father and a lesbian mother? My second thought was: why not? who else? Ideally, followers of Jesus Christ would be the first to embrace and learn from our Muslim siblings, especially one’s dad. Ideally, followers of Jesus Christ would be the first to embrace and learn from our LGBTQ siblings, especially one’s mom. The reality is not that easy.
Mike Ramsey is unusually candid and honest in this memorable book. It’s like reading his private diary, sometimes with the boring-ness that comes with ordinary life, even in his extraordinary context. Then Mike drops remarkable insights like these:
“Growing up fatherless was hard. But I had the help of two moms. Others stepped in when and where they could, but ultimately there was one Father who I learned to lean on the most. I could talk to Him constantly and hold back nothing. Though there were plenty of times we didn’t have the best of relationships, it always seemed to eventually work out. The father I really needed all along was my Heavenly Father” (page 131).
“I no longer wish [my mom] weren’t gay. I hope I live to see the day when she will feel comfortable coming [to church] as an open lesbian yet still feel true love and support from the congregation . . . and me. I know [my mom] already feels love from God and is just waiting for the rest of us to catch up” (page 124).
“Recently, my nine-year-old son asked me what it meant to be gay. He said he heard the word at school because of how he crossed his legs. I told him it’s when boys like boys, and girls like girls. He immediately piped up, ‘Like Nana and Nina?’ I said yes and explained that some people have those feelings and that we really don’t know why they have them, but we need to love everyone even if they are different from how we are. I don’t know what the future holds, but it’s like the upcoming generations are born with more tolerance, empathy, and understanding than the previous. Maybe his will be the generation that finds a way for religion and homosexuality to create a beautiful common ground that all can be comfortable with” (page 120-121).
I won’t detail Mike’s tumultuous but ultimately redemptive relationship with his mom and his mom’s wife. I won’t spoil the engaging, compelling way that he tells the story of how his father found out that Mike even existed, long after Mike had children of his own. That story alone is worth the read in this unique book (148 pages).
I had the honor of hearing Mike speak at the Cedar Fort Marketing Conference on Sept. 10, 2020. He’s the real deal.
Thank you, Mike, for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your journey.
Read more at Mike’s website MikeRamsey.org “It’s the story of my life which was released Nov 12th, 2019 and sold out of all print copies the first day. Luckily, we are finally back in stock. So… If you enjoy action, adventure, damsels in distress, evil villains, and brave heroes…You should probably look elsewhere. But, if you enjoy a touching story with just enough comedy to make you occasionally chuckle. Heartache and struggle that could lead a tough guy to tears. Along with hard lessons that will definitely make you think, then boy do I have the right book for you.”