“Crossroads” shoutout during a Mormon Stories podcast episode!
by Evan Smith
I was surprised to get a message from a friend telling me that my book was briefly discussed on a “Mormon Stories” podcast episode. I was happy to hear Tyler J Perry make the following remarks (at the 2:32:05 mark of this video https://fb.watch/8e5jAakUIp/ ):
* “We have a pair of people who would NOT want to be classified as apologists - those are the [authors of the] books on the right hand side [of this slide].”
* “I would recommend reading those [two books] if you’re interested in this intersection [of church teachings and LGBTQ issues].” [Tyler then mentioned how my book is available for free digitally or for paperback purchase at www.gayldscrossroads.org .]
* “Both of those writers really push back, and they do it with the data that’s available - but they’re also faithful in the way that they present their views on the subject.”
* “Evan Smith’s book is the book I wish I had had [as a gay young man in the church] when I was 14.”
* “That book is fantastic. It’s a wonderful read for this intersection. I highly recommend going through it because [he, and Blaire Ostler in Queer Mormon Theology,] are actually pushing back.”
* “We should be modeling our responses to the church based off the way that the people on the right [of this slide] are responding.”
I am deeply touched by Tyler saying he wished he had my book when he was 14. After he read my book last year, we communicated and have since often crossed paths on social media. I admire Tyler for his authenticity, his kindness, the way he acknowledges people are complicated and multi-faceted, and, of course, his humor and intellect (he has some really entertaining and insightful blog posts here: https://perryekimae.blogspot.com/?m=1 ).
The topic discussed on this “Mormon Stories” podcast episode was a tough one. It covers where things stand on LGBTQ issues in the church, how they’re moving, and what type of approaches to advocacy/allyship help vs. hurt the cause of LGBTQ equality/well-being in the church.
I think the points made in the episode are valid. I hate the harm that can be caused when gay church members who appear to embrace celibacy are held up as the ideal for all other gay church members. But I am also glad that every person discussed in this episode as being a sort of poster-child or spokesperson for the church, has repeatedly said they do NOT want their choices or views to be held up as ideal for anyone else. I’m glad to have heard them each also say that they honor and respect every LGBTQ person’s chosen path, whether that is one that keeps them in the church or takes them out of it.
The LDS/LGBTQ intersection is not an easy one in which to publicly share opinions effectively. The first draft of my book had a tone to it that was probably too angry at church leaders to be of much effect with the readers I wanted as my target audience: active and believing church members. So I was thankful for the skills that Marci McPhee utilized as my editor to suggest ways to soften my tone without sacrificing any of my substantive points. I believe a very large number of church members still need to learn more about LGBTQ issues for any meaningful change in the church to ever have a chance of happening - because, while I doubt any significant improvement will ever occur unless outside social/governmental pressure essentially forces church leaders to pray harder, I also think even those forces will fail to bring about change if church leaders don’t believe most members are ready for it.
So I admire anyone (including the authors of the books on the left) who tries to help increase education in whatever way they feel their voice can best be utilized. I’m glad when orthodox-believing members first dare to start learning about LGBTQ issues by picking up a book at Deseret Book about the topic - maybe because they feel comfortable that the book is “loyal” to the church given it is sold there. I’m also very happy when I see their beliefs soften from reading that book and so they then feel ready to pick up another book that might try to faithfully “push back” and propose doctrinal changes/solutions.
As I’ve heard many people in this space say before, we need “allies in every lane” - because not everyone is at the same point in their journey. As we all try to learn from each other, it’s important to remember that no one’s story should ever be weaponized by someone else to condemn the choices that anyone else has made to protect their own mental health and well-being. Our only job is to love, not judge.