Golden Rule vs. Platinum Rule - lifelong celibacy, etc.

ajjuliani.com

Marci writes: Listen in on this conversation between me and Blaire Ostler, philosopher and author.

Marci: Blaire, I'm coming up against a mindset expressed by a single straight mom with three kids. She told me that it's been 15 years since she's had sex, with no end in sight, so it shouldn't be hard for a gay person to remain celibate like her.

Blaire: If it were me, I would tell your friend that it doesn’t matter if she is OK with celibacy for herself or not. If other people aren’t OK with celibacy, she can just respect that other people’s desires are different than hers. For example, some people are asexual, but that doesn’t mean they should expect bisexual people to be asexual people.

The golden rule is to treat others how you want to be treated. However, the platinum rule is treat others how they want to be treated. No amount of essays [or books or videos] will change her mind until she realizes what is right for her is not right for everyone else. We all want different things out of life and that’s OK.

I’ve thought of that so often, both with regards to LGBTQ thinking as well as other life issues. We all want different things out of life and that’s OK. It reminds me of a comic strip (yes, I get some of my best mantras from the funny papers):

Person: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Friend: “Yes you would, because then you would be me, and this is the way I do it.”

Person: “I never thought of that.”

Friend: “That’s because you’re you.”